You know, I am walking to Bed Bath and Beyond right now and I am so happy I could just about burst.
I am happy with my friends, and my job, and my life. With the work I’m doing. The things I see.
I spent the last six months to a year in a toxic relationship with someone I couldn’t make happy no matter how hard I tried. Something like that creeps into the corners of your entire life. It makes you unhappy everywhere.
The last two months have basically been the feeling of rising in a big balloon. My entire body feels lighter than it has in ages.
I moved into a space with friends I love more than anything in the world, and every day, I am excited to come home. Just to see who’s doing what and how loudly laughter fills the room. I am excited. To come home.
And improv has been awesome. I’m in a great class, and started a great group, and Dog Court has been killing it in ways I never thought possible. We did a scene last week involving a hunch cop, an evidence cop, and a time cop that was basically the most us scene we have ever done. It feels goddamn incredible to have a voice, and use it.
I started doing stand-up and the feeling is much the same. I’ve really fallen in love with just getting up and fitting as much as possible in the day. It is new and wonderful. Somedays I only write two jokes, and it still makes me feel so good I could punch the moon.
I guess it’s mostly the feeling of being free from want. I do not want or need anything except being exactly me at exactly this point in time. I don’t want to be anyone else. It has been so long since I have been able to say that. Right now, I don’t want anything other than to see what happens to this big ol’ goofball body I call home. Whatever it is, it will make me smile.
So I understand this reads like a list of straight-up braggin’. But that is not what I’m trying to get at. Just that some days the sun is shining and the world wraps you up tight and your whole body seems to stretch to fill the sky.
You guys. There is no reason we should not feel this at all times. The light always turns on, if you let it. Always.
If I know you, you are wonderful. If I don’t know you, that is still probably true. So please, let’s be nothing less than happy, and unafraid, in this great and beautiful world.
