I am writing this to warn you of a gentleman who committed willful theft at an open mic at Niagara Bar last night, in the hopes that something similar will not happen at your show.
The guy’s name is Brendan Kerr. I was sitting next to him last night. When it was his turn to go up, he had a poorly-received set and then tried to heckle the comedian that followed. She deftly shot him down, and he did not take it well. At this point, I got up to go to the bathroom, and he proceeded to intentionally steal my notebook, storming out of the bar in the process.
Keep in mind that we had absolutely ZERO interaction at this point in time; I just had the misfortune to be next to him. It easily could have happened to any other comic in the place. I have confirmation from several eyewitnesses, as well as confirmation from the man himself, that this was an intentional act conducted out of spite, and he has gleefully responded to my efforts to retrieve my book with the information that he will be making no efforts to return it.
Brendan is roughly 6’2” and 220 odd pounds. His appearance is that of about a 130% sized Mike Lawrence, to the point where I thought it was him when I first showed up. He has a bushy brown beard and square rounded glasses.
His act is very yell-y, and he is one of those underdeveloped comics who you can physically feel not listening to the audience. He also ran three lights despite getting no laughs, to give you an idea of the type. His material was unmemorable, but I do remember one bit about gay marriage where the punchline was him screaming “I’M OKAY WITH DOG MARRIAGE”.
If he shows up to your mic, or e-mails to get on, I would recommend keeping a strong eye on him, particularly after he gets off stage. My friend was sitting right next to the both of us and said he saw it happen in a flash but that he was out the door before anyone could stop him.
I have already reached out to the authorities with all the necessary information (he forgot he signed up for the mic with his work e-mail), so hopefully this matter will be resolved on my end, but that notebook represented the last four months of nightly development, and that is not something I ever want to see happen to anyone else. It was a stranger’s notebook this time, but if this is how he reacts to bombing, next time it could be a phone or a laptop. Be on the lookout.
And, if you wouldn’t mind, please feel free to pass this on to anyone else who you believe can benefit from this information.
Thanks for your time.
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relevant rebloggable information for showrunners
(also part of my master plan to get a lynch mob turned on mike lawrence)
“Then they would go out to eat.” I’m hoping this is either actually food or an allusion to head.
“There were two more entries.”
‘A manticore is a horrid monster having a man’s face, the body of a lion, leathery bat wings, and a tail ridged with spikes’
uh?????
“His fingers dug hard into her arm, expecting an answer.” GoT was not a good choice of book to determine anything about my sex life. Especially not when pg35 is full of Targaryens.
“A thin whisper of sound passed the broken mouth, forced out on a last puff of breath.” …………..well.
… … … … you wanna swap books? i wanna read what you’re reading.
WAIT THAT’S SOMEONE DYING I THOUGHT IT WAS SEX
Kind of maybe cheating since mine was a graphic novel (Perselpolis by Marjane Satrapi which YOU SHOULD REALLY READ):
‘Can you help me lace my shoes?’
Legit.
Perselpolis is fantastic btw
“At times she would come with me after work to a British-style pub called Dawson’s where ad men, travel agents and bankers hung out, and often she picked up a little Male something for herself, too.”
“Claiming that I had been slandered, I asked for an apology and a retraction of the false stories which all the press of Germany had copied, but I was simply laughed at for my trouble.”
Um …
“Then he goes back to sleep.” Sounds hot.
“The results strongly confirm the conclusions I have reached, by other means, about the etiology of depression.” So… this is bad, right?
“It is rumored among the brave and foolish who speculate on such matters that she may be as old as fifty.” …. Posted without comment.
“So the two of them got out the back way, climbing over a fence, weak with laughter and very affectionate, quick to fall into each other’s arms.”
Sup. I know ALL the good fences. (thank you, Joyce Carol)
I am the lovable uncle for lots of reasons (like not having to live there anymore), but also because, when you get right down to it, I’m the only one in the house who’ll get excited that you learned how to say “A.K.A”.
for no other reason than i just saw a logo i hadn’t seen in years
- A cathedral security guard
- A baker
- A balloon deliverer
- A high-end furniture salesman
- An assistant to a guy who paints fake wood grain
- A truck rental agent
- A dude whose job it was to stand around the Bodies of dead Chinese prisoners
at the very least, i hope to have an obituary 20-year olds will find charming.
This set I did on my birthday was more or less the best one of my life.
I didn’t record it because there was a dude with a camera there and I had a buncha trouble tracking him down so for four months I’ve just been biting my nails hoping it was as good as I remembered. Nothing ever is, but this is about as close as my brain will allow.
I haven’t done any of these in a while but it’s nice to be reminded of my continued commitment to moving like a weird bird at all times.
Anyway I tell jokes and it’s calming and heck I’d sure like to make you laugh at your show sometime.
